Dissolution

September 24, 2012- 3:06 am

Dissolution

Pot-bellied ganpati is not given to wine; he is not a tippler; yet he intoxicates Mumbaikars with his earthy presence in the month of September. A spirit of joy and bonhomie reverberates throughout the city. Twinkling lights, pandals and drumbeats uplift the stressed-out souls of the city. People across Mumbai get a break from their usual schedules- if not for anything else- for the uncontrollable traffic during the immersion ceremony days. The ganesha idols are immersed in ponds or tanks to complete the cycle of creation and dissolution. Long procession of devotees chanting- deva shree ganesha, deva shree ganesha fills up the emptiness; expensive crackers light up the darkness. Ganesha rides high on the collective spirit of festivity.

On the immersion day this year, the pandal right next to my house drowned its symphony into chaos. Devotees turned up in numbers, jostled, screamed to get their blessings while trumpets sounded and the announcer shouted into the microphone- everything dissolved into infinity, marking the finality of a spiritual journey. 

Dissolution means different things to different people. It could be interpreted as de-fragmentation, detachment; it could mean annihilation. It could even mean- liberation, or to release the binding force of something.

Lord Ganesha devised a sort of dissolution for me. It was a spiritual awakening, a transition that woke me up from a long sense of ennui and helped me re-orchestrate my life. Even though I am unsure about the length of this state of mind, it definitely comes as a whiff of fresh air into my otherwise damped, muddled existence. After a long time, I woke up refreshed on a Sunday, called up my friends- Anu and Swar- went to Anu’s place for lunch, played with her baby, and had a brief chat with her husband. She treated me to awesome vegetable pakora and chai in the afternoon. Later in the day, Anu and I went to Oberoi mall- PVR for the movie- Moonrise Kingdom. This is an interesting movie on two romantic kids who were way older than their years and how they escaped to an island and constructed a world parallel to the larger one.  I could instantly connect with the little girl and her idiosyncrasies in the movie. Like her, I was also a difficult, matured child with deep issues, conflicts and self-doubt. And I have grown up to be a childish adult with even bigger issues. 

I accompanied Anu on shopping for cosmetics and headed home. On our way back we bought two filter cigarettes, smoked and sang songs. I smoked just for the fun of it and do not intend to make it a habit. Reaching IC Colony, we went to Juzzy Bites restaurant and had vegetable puff, pizza margharita along with peach and apricot drink. She came to my house for a bit, for the first time and said she loved it and thought it was the ideal place to pursue art and party. Swar also wanted to come over for a bit but did not turn up.

Almost the entire day I did not let my mind race the way it usually does and consumes my life. I let the events and the people get my constant attention. My emotions were well under check and I felt liberated. In a sense, I did not let myself get sucked into an intensely individual space where I am defined only by my visions and desires. It was almost as if a cycle of creation was giving way to one of dissolution. I hope I can continue to live like this at least for the next two months and feel free.

Meghna Maiti

ENDS